So today, during the Sacrament - I realized after awhile that they hadn't come by to offer me the bread. I usually get it right away because I lead the music and am on the stand. I looked up and realized that the deacons were all lining up which told me that the first portion (the bread) was almost over. I leaned over to Joanne (the organist) and asked her if they had forgotten us. She said, "Oh, he must have forgotten you". She leaned towards the bishopbric and let them know. But at that point all the bread had been turned in.
All of a sudden I had an overwhelming feeling of worry that I wouldn't get to take the bread and a rush of the Spirit. And I realized at that moment how much I wanted to take it and felt the need for that sanctification in my life.
I soon realized that I probably didn't need to worry and that I still might get to after they blessed the water - which is just what happened. As the deacon offered the water to the Bishop - the Bishop let him know that I needed the bread and right after that he went and got a tray of bread and came over to me. I took the bread and the water - one right after the other. The poor deacon probably felt bad and told me he was sorry and of course I told him it was okay.
I guess I was just surprised that it meant that much to me and that I really missed it when I didn't get it and how strongly I feel that I need this ordinance each week.
I kept feeling the Spirit so strongly throughout Sacrament meeting even amidst juggling Mary and felt that I should probably share the experience by bearing my testimony. I resisted because I didn't want to make the deacon feel bad. But I kept feeling that I should and so I did and I did say in my testimony that I was reluctant to share because I didn't want to make anyone feel bad. So I hope I didn't make him feel badly.
Anyway, I was glad to have this experience today and grateful to have the opportunity to renew my covenants and partake of the Sacrament.
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