This one's a good one.

In regards to my last post, I thought I'd share an outfit that Mary has been wearing than has been a very good transition outfit from summer to fall. It's not too cool and the colors are darker and the cute cat is a nice prelude to Halloween, don't cha think? The cat has even got some texture - a fake velvetty type of feel.


The BEST part though??? I paid $2 for the cropped leggings and $2.50 for the shirt (at Target). Gotta love that!
P.S. You can see in this pic that Jeff set up a little safe play area in the family room for Mary in case I have to do something where she can't be trying to climb up my leg or I need to take out the trash or something. You gotta watch that one! She'll be up the stairs in no time. Or you'll come back in from taking out the trash and bonk her head because she came to the door . . . or she'll climb into the dishwasher - not that any of these things has happened, mind you. ; )

Fall Fashionista

On Sunday, Mary got to finally wear this cute outfit that I got at one of my showers.

She got so many compliments! What fun for me! It is a size 0-3 months. Hello? Clearly, no 0-3 month old could have fit in it. I held onto it, incase Mary still might be able to wear it this fall and whoop-ee! she can. We have several cute outfits in storage for fall that I am excited about.

But this brings up a question or two . . .

So it is fall. But it is still warm. I wore a long sleeved t-shirt on Sunday and was hot and Mary probably was too. Do any of you find it hard to figure out what to wear at these times? I just can't bring myself to putting a bright- springy colored outfit on Mary when it is fall - at least not for church.

But anyway. . . I have about six darling summery outfits (about half that I bought and half of them were gifts) that Mary is just now starting to fit into and only one of them has been worn for about 15 minutes. What shall I do? Wear them now even though they are summery? Regift them (I always feel guilty doing that and obviously I'm not talking about the one that she wore for 15 mintues - it doesn't have tags anymore)? Or save them for a possible future daughter that may never come? I don't really want to give them away. I love each of them. And I hope I do get another girl someday. Chances are good right? At least 50/50. Course will SHE be in the right season for them????

I realize these are not the most important questions of life. But what would you do?

Light Rail Tale

My husband, as you know, is riding the train to work these days. He wrote this little anecdote last week that I thought you all might enjoy . . . .

"So yeah, this morning I'm sitting on the train, working on my little Mac laptop... when I see from out of my window a bearded, gnarly, blind guy making his way down the station to get on. He found his way on the train pretty well, but then finding a seat was a little tough. It required him to feel up and down the passengers until he found one with nobody sitting next to them (me). After a mercifully brief groping, he settled in next to me. He was wearing one of those filthy canvas overcoats with a hood, and of course he draped the hood across my body. Everyone was kind of staring at him, though, so I couldn't peel the garment off myself and make a scene. I just tried to bear it, even though I was imagining all sorts of germs were migrating to my clean, pressed shirt.

After awhile, he got off at an intermediate stop. I resisted the urge to begin frantically brushing off my shirt and checking for smudges. Just as well, because after he got up and left, a gentleman who was.... generously obese took his spot. There was not room enough on the row for myself and both of his legs, so it was nice and cozy. Sigh.

Still, I may have been better off than the lady in a miniskirt the next row over. I'm pretty sure she was surrounded by men who were leering at her the whole way..."

Today

Today I sang at a funeral. My good friend - life long friend - we've been friends since 1st grade, Sara - her husband's brother committed suicide last week.

I hope she won't mind me posting my feelings about how I felt today. I felt honored that she and her husband would ask me to sing and I got to sing with Catherine and my Mom accompanied us in Be Still, My Soul.

Before the funeral started, there was a video/slideshow of the deceased. I just saw a few of the pictures and decided I better not watch it so that I would be composed enough for later.

It had pictures of this man as a baby. And pictures with siblings. It was pretty sad. I couldn't help but think about how you look at a new little baby and how you hope so much for them and love them so much. You plan in your own mind how wonderful you think their life will be.

I remember when Catherine (my sister) was a baby very well because I was 11 years old at the time. She was such a beautiful baby and being the baby - we all loved and spoiled her. I remember her 4th? birthday. The theme was Lion King and she had little mickey mouse buns for her hairstyle and she had all these cute little 4 year old friends who came. She was a pretty, self assured little thing - even at four. And I just remember picturing her future to be easy and that she'd be well liked and popular and beautiful.

What really happened was quite different. Catherine has not had an easy life. She had cancer (and survived), she struggled in school and with friends, and has had many of the regular difficulties that many of us have had and then some.

I guess today just made me think of the circle of life and that life isn't easy. It is sometimes quite hard and tragic. And yet, it is also beautiful.

I was surprised at how "not sad" I felt during the service today. Even though this person had trials, many people loved him, and remembered him with fond memories.

The best part though was hearing my friend Sara speak about the hope that we all have through the Atonement and our belief in the Plan of Salvation. She did such a nice job and I thought her message was wonderful and hopeful. It was perfect.

It is hard for me to imagine getting to a place that you'd actually take your own life. I'm sad and sorry that this person was in that much pain. I hope that all of us can - instead of feeling all is lost - try to focus on easing someone else's pain instead of focusing on our own. This is truly a loss - to his mother, siblings, and children and friends.


Just for the record - I love you all. Each of us have so much potential!!! Let us realize what a gift and opportunity life is and how much we need each other! Let us love and serve one another and forgive each other.

And let us seize the day!

Peekaboo

Mary has been doing this for awhile now. But we only just now taped it. Enjoy!

Scripture for the Day

Psalms 1: 1-3
Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.
And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

I've been doing better on my scripture reading lately. For several years, I have been trying to go through my old seminary manual for the old testament because I don't remember a lot of it. So lately I've been reading about David. What a sad story his is. But didn't he write the most beautiful psalms? Psalms has got to be one of my favorite books of scripture. There is so much truth and praise in those words.

Hope you all have a great day and you remember to not "walk in the counsel of the ungodly" and be "like a tree planted by the rivers of water".

Stiff Neck

'Nuff said.

We All Survived

This past weekend, I left for a choir retreat a couple of hours away near Granby at a place called Silver Creek.

I was of course a little nervous about leaving Mary. I left Friday afternoon and got back Sunday afternoon. But though I was anxious, Jeff and I really felt it would be okay. Jeff is very good with Mary and she has done well in the past for the few hours that I have left. I also knew I could come home if it wasn't going well.

Yesterday when I got home, she was sleeping. But when she woke up, Jeff and I both went in to see her and greet her. I picked her up and she was happy. But as Jeff started to leave, she reached out to him. Isn't that sweet?

On Thursday, I called Mary's doctor. I just wanted reassurance that leaving her for a couple of days wouldn't turn my happy, confident child into a nervous one. As I started telling the doctor about it, I got a little choked up and started crying. Her doctor was very sweet to me and I'm sure she has had to deal with crying parents before. I guess I was a bit surprised at my reaction. Sometimes you don't realize how much you feel about something or your need to express something. I had talked with my sisters and Jeff leading up to this - and prayed of course, but I was still apprehensive. After talking with the doctor though - and having that release - I wasn't really nervous anymore. I felt good and peaceful about the decision.

I'm glad to be back. And I'm glad that I get to be the one to take care of Mary most of the time. I'm happy that I have a husband who is a good father and who can take good care of Mary if I need a break or need to go somewhere.

The retreat went well and I enjoyed meeting new people and singing and having a change of pace and scenery. I'm glad I did it!

Cute Cousin Pics

A few cute pics from last weekend . . .
Everyone just loves Mary. And who can blame them? She is sweet and happy and gorgeous. (I'm sorry to brag so much, but it is my blog, and if you can't share your joy with your close friends and family, who can you share it with?) It is so sweet to see cousin Joe with Mary. He loves her so.

As does Hannah.

So sweet.

Love the colors of the blue and orange. Mary looks quite strawberry blonde in these pics I think. People have even said to me, "oh she's a red-head!". I don't know if I'd say that, but she does have a little red.

Food Poisoning

'Nuff said.

Damn Half Step

I thought about titling this post "Not much going on - so I think I'll write a post about it". But I decided the current title might be more intriguing.

But before I get to the "Damn Half Step" story, I just want to record some small details that probably none of you will find interesting but for some reason I want to record anyway.

Jeff rode the train to work today.

Mary is cute as ever. She sits herself down gracefully now - instead of plopping. She has learned to use her arm strength to gently lower herself. Talked to a lady that was recommended to me for preschool for Mary. She is 5th on the list. Geez. Glad I didn't wait until 2013 when she actually is headed for preschool.

Labor Day was pretty quiet. Basically just went to a barbeque at my parents and hung out.

Trying to finish a book for bookclub tomorrow. Sadly, I have almost the entire book still to finish. *sigh*

And yesterday I found Mary's sock that she had kicked off on our Friday walk. I HATE losing things. I have always been someone who really takes care of her stuff - maybe it is because I was one of six. But anyway . . .Even though this was just a SOCK, I was bothered by it. Jeff told me, "Get over it. It's a sock. It's gone."

Anyway, I said a little prayer before my walk on Tuesday morning since I would be retracing my Friday walk and I found it! Woo hoo!!! I have to say that I almost always find whatever I lose if I pray about it. I will have misplaced something or lost something and looked for it everywhere. Then I will pray and after I pray, I often times get up and walk right to it. The only exception though is my sorority pin from college. I lost it on campus one day (after a jazz choir rehearsal with significant choreography) and I've never ever found it. It is kind of sentimental and it has "C. Murray" engraved on the back. But nope. I've checked lost and founds and the music building and campus to no avail. But I still hope that someday it will find it's way back to me. I heard a radio program once about how people found things that they thought were lost forever. And so I have hope. . . I could just buy it again, but I'm kinda cheap and still . . . it wouldn't be the original.

But I digress . . .
Anyway, I've often felt like I don't know if God answers my prayers - I mean - whenever I am looking for a "Yes or no" type of thing or "what do I do?", I sometimes wish I felt a more concrete answer. But I have to say that my experiences with losing things and finding them, makes me think that He is hearing me.

ANYWAYS . . . now for the Damn Half Step Story.

So last night I had choir rehearsal instead of on Sunday because of the holiday. On the penultimate number we rehearsed, our director, Dick asked the altos (I'm singing alto btw . . . did I tell you? . . . weird - I know), who wants to sing the solo (just for rehearsal - this wasn't the official soloist - just who wanted to sing it while we practiced)? Not a hand or voice answered. No alto was relishing the idea of sight-reading a solo in front of 50 other people. He asked again. No one answered. I happened to make eye contact (I'm thinking "BLAST" "CRAP" "YIKES", etc.) with him and he narrowed his eyes at me, pointed his finger at me, and said "YOU".
O Geez Louise. One of the guys behind me said, "have fun with that French". Yea, it was in French too. GRRRR.
So we all start singing and the dreaded solo comes up - not a long one at all - but long enough to . . . well nevermind.
So I start singing an A for a dotted half note. Then I jump to the next note - a B. Dick stops the rehearsal. And says something like "play the B-flat" to the pianist. DOH! HOW EMBARRASSING!
Why couldn't I have remembered the key that we had been singing in for the last 15 minutes? Why couldn't I have read the key signature? Why why why? Why did I have to make an even worse impression than I did the first week to the other 50 or so people in the room. I'm sure they are all thinking, "what is this girl doing here?" or "pathetic" or "um hello?"

Just briefly . . .
the first week, after we'd been singing for awhile, Dick went around to introduce the new people, telling everyone some of their resume.
So he gets to me.
For the audition, we had to bring a resume and also fill out a form. Well, I didn't want to use my regular acting resume because it wasn't really suited for a choral audition. So I made a choral resume and under "performance experience" just wrote "see attached resume". *sigh* So anyway, he starts introducing me and mentions my All-State choirs and then says something like "and she has quite a resume . .. ." and starts flipping the pages. It was soo embarrassing and everyone was laughing. The guy behind me teased me and said, "what did you do, add your elementary school play?". So then Dick starts mentioning all the shows I've done including "Hot box girl in Guys and Dolls" and then jumps down to my dance experience and I hear "Hip hop" and other things like that.
OH MY GOODNESS.
Why couldn't he have mentioned my degree?? Or that I won NATS? Or something more relevant instead of the fact that I do a little hip hop. *sigh sigh sigh*
It was pretty embarrassing and I kept giggling for like the next 10 minutes.

So anyway, as you can see, I'm making a great impression on my fellow choral colleagues.
I just hope that they will forget about my poor sight-reading from last night (and my hip hop experience) and at some point learn that I really can sing and I really can hear and read a half step.

P.S. One other thing happened that is actually pretty neat. Two other women in the choir - who are also LDS - and sisters- went to CSU and CSU/BYU. They have the best and prettiest voices I've ever heard. I'm not kidding. One of them asked me if I'd sing with them for an upcoming fireside with Sister Dibb??? - General Young Women's president. Apparently she is coming to visit Colorado in November. So that is pretty cool. First I got to sing at the JKP fireside and now Sister Dibb.

Guess I'll sign off now.
Sincerely,
One who actually DOES know the difference between and half step and a whole step : )

"It's getting cool out here (uh-huh) so put on all your clothes"

Yesterday Mary wore this


until we went outside to weed and discovered the new September coolness. I threw some leggings on Mary


and a sweater (doing the squint here)(I think she looks like cousin Eve at her age in this pic - don't you Beckie?)


and put on a long sleeve shirt myself. But what about all those summer clothes I bought for Mary that she still doesn't fit into yet???? Guess they will be saved for a future little sister (hopefully - and no - I'm not pregnant).

P.S. Mary is opening drawers and cabinets now and this morning I discovered her climbing the staircase (guess I shouldn't have introduced them to her the other day). Lovely. Time to get this house baby proofed.

A picture's worth a thousand feelings

Yesterday I sent this iphone pic to Jeff. Last night he said to me "Mary's going to be a little girl soon" in regards to the pic. *SIGH* I know he's right.