My Natural Birth

As promised, I thought I'd record how Jonathan's labor and delivery went- more for myself than anyone else. 

Warning:  this is an extremely long post!  And there are a few details that may be TMI (too much information for some). 

As you all know, I was over a week late.  I wasn't too uncomfortable, but I did start wondering if something was wrong with my body and if he would EVER come.  I felt that maybe my wearing a pregnancy support belt kept him from descending.  The day I turned 41 weeks, I thought, "I'm not going to wear the belt anymore" and two friends commented the next day that I had dropped and also I had progessed a centimeter since the few days before when I had my second NST and ultrasound.  So maybe that played into it, maybe not.  Overall though, I was happy to have that belt throughout this pregnancy.  He carried so low for me - it was very uncomfortable for me in several ways and the belt helped a lot.

I was 41 weeks on Thursday, May 31st.  I had a doctors appointment the next morning.  My doctor asked if she could strip my membranes.  I had been resistant to this bc I didn't want to make my natural labor any harder than it had to be, but my doctor said that that wouldn't happen and also if my body wasn't ready, it wouldn't go into labor.  But my doctor said that I had progressed another centimeter and my cervix was much softer than the few days before, so either way she thought I'd be going into labor soon.  I decided to let her strip my membranes.  I don't regret it, but I kind of wonder if I really needed to do it.  Seems like labor would have happened soon either way.  But I'm fine with it I think.  Especially because in my case it didn't bring on my labor super quickly as you will soon see.  But I do like the idea of baby coming when it would have naturally - so I guess that is the only drawback for me.
The rest of Friday and through the night I had some cramping.  I thought it might be early early labor, but it was really too soon to know.  They next morning though, as I got up and started moving, contractions started coming pretty regularly.  I had wanted to labor at home for awhile, but Jeff and I soon discovered that we didn't really see eye to eye on that.  He didn't want to deliver a baby in the car - go figure.  : )  He wanted to go when it is standard to go - when contractions were five minutes apart for an hour.  So even though I didn't want to, we left for the hospital around 11 AM Saturday morning.  BTW, my sister Jennifer came to get Mary and entertained her all day at the art museum.  My sister had Mary Saturday and Sunday and my Mom had her on Monday and Tuesday.

When we got there I was a 4.  I had originally hoped to get to the hospital when I was a 6-8.  So I wasn't really happy about that.  But I was happy bc I liked my nurse and she didn't make me have a hep cap (line into your veins incase they needed to hook up an IV in an emergency).  We were sent to the triage because the hospital was rather busy that day.  We were able to walk around and eat and stuff and that was good.  Two hours later, my nurse checked me and I was only a 4 1/2.  My contractions had slowed down.  Even though I tried getting up when I could, once I got to the hospital, I basically sat in a hospital bed while they asked a billion questions and I just think that wasn't conducive to active labor.  Two hours later again, I was still just a 4 1/2.  I was frustrated a bit.  But my doctor gave us the option to go home or stay.  Jeff wanted to stay bc if we left and labor started up again, it could be really fast.  But since my doctor was okay with it, Jeff agreed.  My doctor (Dr. Oster) was really great.  I felt glad many times that she was my doctor.  I felt that she really tried to honor my wishes.  She even gave us her personal cell phone number to call when we were thinking about coming back to the hospital.  The nurses were all very surprised she let me go.  They said, usually when someone is as overdue as I was, they don't let them leave.

I was glad to go home  - which was around 6ish and just be in my own comfortable home, in my own comfortable bed, doing my own thing, not being bored at the hospital, getting to see Mary, etc. etc. etc.  We went home and picked up some dinner on the way, hung out for a bit, and then I decided I was tired and headed to bed at about 8:30.

As I was trying to fall asleep, I had a couple of really painful contractions - painful enough that I felt I had to vocalize the pain I was having.  And I started feeling very discouraged.  Looking back, this was one of the more challenging times of the whole process because I was so discouraged.  I started worrying that I was going to have these kind of intermittent PAINFUL contractions for several days.  And at that point, I started wondering if I could do it natural if this was the case.  This was the kind of thing my doctor had warned me about - that sometimes people plan for a natural birth and the birth just doesn't click along.  But I thought to myself that I still didn't feel like I had given it my best effort and that I wanted to keep trying.  I also thought, I hadn't called my doula for help yet, and maybe I should.  That is why I hired her after all.  I also texted my sister-in-law Jenny about my discouragement.  And she called me.  She talked me through it, prayed for me, and just encouraged me.  Also at this time, my good friend Annabel texted me asking if I needed anything.  I was thinking it might be helpful to have a birthing ball and maybe she could pick me up one.  Well, she had one (a yoga ball) and brought it over to me.  Having her come helped me.  She talked me through contractions and encouraged me and got my mind off of my worries and helped me to laugh and think of happy things.  Also around this time, Jeff and I were texting my doula and she was on her way over.  It really was helpful to have people rally around me at this time.  It got my spirits back up.

By the time all this had happened, my contractions were back to 5 minutes apart again and they were more intense this time around than they had been in the morning.  So anyway, at one point, I had Jeff, Annabel, and my doula all in my bedroom and we were trying to decide if it was time to go back to the hospital.  Jeff was on the phone with the doctor and after the contractions were clicking again 4-5 minutes apart for an hour/hour and a half- and they were more intense, we decided it was time to go - though I probably would've waited even longer if I could have.  : ) But I was okay with it.  Annabel stayed at my house since Mary was asleep in her bed until Jennifer came back. 

When we (Jeff, myself, and my doula - Whitney) got to the hospital (around 11:30) I was dilated to a 7!  I was very happy about this.  I got a new nurse and she was wonderful.  She had actually been a midwife in South Africa where she was from.  Apparently, if you want a natural birth, they have nurses at Skyridge that are more comfortable with that than others.  So it was great, bc I felt like I had a good supportive team (I really didn't like the nurses I had for Mary's birth).  I am so glad that I had a birth plan.  Everyone who dealt with me, knew what I wanted and I just felt that from the get go, that my wishes were more respected. 

So I was a 7 - which means TRANSITION.  So pretty soon after we were in our own room, I started having painful contractions.  VERY painful.  I was able to get in the bath which was nice.  But honestly, there really isn't any "comfortable" position or remedy for natual labor.  There is just more bearable or less bearable.  I was in transition for probably 4 hours.  I was always grateful to have a break inbetween the contractions.  I can see why pitocin would make a natural birth unbearable.  Jeff was right by my side of course.  It would go like this . . . a contraction would start to come on and I'd get cold (I hadn't really planned to be totally naked - it just kind of worked out that way after the hot bath), so he'd put a dry towel on me.  Then I'd start to get into the hardness of the contraction and get hot then I'd throw the towel off.  Then after the contraction, I'd need water.  Everytime, he'd be right there to bring me what I needed and I held his hand a lot during the contractions.

Whitney was a constant encourager - reminding me to breathe, etc.  One thing she did that really worked for me was to change my "vocals" from high pitched -almost hyperventilating type breaths to a more primal, gutteral sound.  This sort of worked for me like a noise that helped mask the overwhelming pain of the contraction.  Not sure if I can really describe it . . .

The pain sucked.  And I'm not discounting it at all.  In the middle of it all, I said to Jeff I didn't think I'd do it this way again.  Course when you are giving birth, that is probably the worst time to think about doing it again.  All in all, I decided there are trade offs - benefits and drawbacks to both ways.  But when I think about everything, I think I probably would choose to go natural again  (if there even is a next time).  We'll see I guess.  I loved being able to drink water.  That alone is one of the biggest reason for my wanting to go natural.  I was shocked at how parched I'd get between each contraction - and I'd been drinking water the whole time.  To me it is just wrong to not drink water while giving birth.  I also loved not being hooked up to an IV.  There are lots of reasons why I'd probably choose it again. 

Back to the birth . . .

Everything was very smooth except for one point towards the end when they monitored the baby.  His heart rate had dropped and there was a seriousness in the room.  But they put me on my side and that did the trick.  My doctor and I had had a conversation that babies heart rates always drop when they drop into the birth canal and this always causes nurses alarm.  So I wasn't too worried about it.  But I was glad of course that the heart rate went back up soon after.

It kind of seemed like I was hanging out longer than normal waiting to push, but my body just sort of took its time.  I'm not sure how we finally decided it was time - probably I was feeling the pressure/urge to push and I was just shy of 10.  They thought if I started pushing on my hands and knees that gravity would help out. 

So I pushed a few times that way and my water broke with quite a force getting water everywhere I think.  A few minutes later my doctor was there.  I moved to the standard pushing position and just a few pushes later, the baby was out!

Pushing the baby out was a sensation that was quite unique ; ).  I remember it hurt but I think more I was just worried that I would explode down there  - that I wouldn't stretch enough.  I actually had them wheel out a mirror so I could watch him come out and I'm really glad I did.  It was interesting to watch.  Course I didn't have my contacts in - so it wasn't in great detail for me either. 

If I thought I had been loud during all the contractions, the pushing took it to a whole other level.  I screamed my head off.  Not like in a scary movie way.  More like a warrior in battle kind of way.  Whatever way it was, Jeff described it as me nearly taking the paint off the walls.  : )  I was also quite hoarse afterwards.

I know I delivered almost a ten pound baby, but to be honest, when his head came out, it didn't seem big to me at all.  And I was surprised at how small an opening he came out of.  I thought I'd have to be much more stretched out.  Sorry if that is a little graphic. 

After his head was out - I didn't realize I still had to push and the doctor kind of pulled on the baby and that was a weirdish/scary sort of feeling.  But she told me to keep pushing and then that was it!  He was born at 4:56 A.M.

At that moment I don't remember thinking anything really and then they all told me to take my baby.  So I pulled him up to my chest and I got to hold him right away.  He was screaming like crazy!  And then he totally pooped all over me.  : ) But I would've never noticed had they not told me.  It was pretty wonderful actually to hold him skin to skin.  I remember feeling like I didn't have much strength in my abdominal area and I was tired.  So when I nursed him, I felt like I couldn't really get him in an ideal position because of feeling weak in my stomach.  But it was okay.  I didn't really feel strongly about nursing right away like many women do.  But I was still able to of course.  I was just glad I got to hold him.

And I just held him for a long time while everything else was being taken care of (only a tiny bit of tearing btw).  And I got to give the ok for when the clamped the cord and everything. 

Looking back, I feel as though Jeff may have gotten pushed aside a bit at the very end and I hope that is not the case.  But I don't remember where he was standing exactly.  I had several people all crowded around me. 

I'm honestly so happy that I got to achieve my goal of a natural birth.  I know that it doesn't always work out for women.  I love that I know what it feels like.  I love that I did something that I was really afraid of and that was hard.  I love that everything was intervention free (though I did allow them to give me pitocin after I delivered to help shrink the uterus). 

I love that I got to hold my sweet baby right away skin to skin. 

I'm so grateful to know what it is like and what other women throughout the ages have experienced. 

Most of all I'm grateful that I have a sweet healthy baby boy, that I am healthy, that we had so much support and help, and that I have a good husband and my Sweet (and smart and sassy and beautiful) Mary Pie. 

Hope you enjoyed that!  If you're still reading this, you should give yourself a star!  : )

Jonathan Hugh Sullins

We have a new baby!!!! He is so sweet and precious. And we have a name too! We decided to name him Jonathan Hugh Sullins.

For me, it isn't an instant - the moment I see him - I'm in love kind of thing. I mean, it isn't that I don't love him. But for me that love comes after a couple days of being with him non-stop, nursing him, taking care of him. That is when I realize how much I love him and care about him and can't live without him now. This rings true to me too because I believe the body and spirit and very much connected. Something like nursing for instance . . . it makes sense that it fosters bonding with your baby.

So back to the name . . . it was tough this time to pick a name. I really didn't have any names that I just loved. Jeff had about 5 names that he liked and would consider. He didn't like any of the names on my list. I don't say that as a complaint. I just say it bc it is true. It was important to me that we have a name that we could both agree on. At first, I didn't like Jonathan at all. But then I realized how nice and musical it sounded with Sullins. I liked the meaning - "Gift from God". And I liked the bible story of Jonathan. I liked how it sounded with Hugh. Hugh was a name I had from the beginning of my pregnancy- my Dad's Dad's name. And think of all the cool Hughs - Hugh Grant, Hugh Jackman, Hugh Hefn . .. wait a sec . . . scratch that last one. : ) And Hugh goes with our tradition of including a family name. My Grandpa Hugh - I wasn't hugely close to or anything. He was mostly deaf after working with airplanes during the war. But he had a twinkle in his eye and he was hard working and sweet.

A couple of things that I think aren't perfect about the name . . . I'm afraid there might be spelling errors that people make - adding an H or spelling it "on" at the end. But we are using the straight forward spelling - so hopefully that won't be a huge problem. Also, I kept thinking, "Ugh! Could you be any more boring than Mary and John?"! But if we call him Jonathan, I feel better about it. Anyway, these details are probably not important to all of you, but I wanted to record them. So there you are!

So everything is pretty darn great right now. Mary is doing really well. She does say sometimes, "It's MY turn to talk!" And we try to give her the floor when that happens. But she seems to love "baby brother". And the way she pronounces "Jonathan" and "baby brother" is pretty stinkin' cute. In addition, I'm thrilled that I was able to achieve my goal to have a natural birth this time. Would I do it again? In the middle of it, I said no. But now, I think maybe I would - if we even have anymore. But for now, I'm just happy it worked out. I'll try to write a post later about the experience. Here are some pics! By the way, did I mention he was 9 lbs. 10 oz!?!! I'm not ashamed. My doula says she thinks big babies are great - they don't get stuck in funky positions (I guess that isn't always true though) and I personally think they look a little more filled out at first. But I may be slightly biased having had one 8 pounder and one almost 10 pounder. Course that doesn't bode well if I have anymore children . . . : )

Who does he look like??? Look at my baby picture and Mary's and I think you'll see some shocking resemblance. But when he opens his eyes, he has Jeff's eyes I think. Not sure whose nose or mouth he has yet though.

Me on my birthday.


Mary a few days old.