We made it!

Well friends,

It has been a month of ups and downs here . . .
Some of the downs?
Lost mailbox key
Sickness
Had to find a different doula

Some of the ups?
Valentine's Day
Murray Family get together for Ivan
Sullins Family get together for ALL the February birthdays - including Jeff's
Service to a friend
Singing for All State Choir kids and workshop with Rene Clausen

I'm in my third trimester now - which is good - although, I still have so much to do to prepare for the baby and this month was a giant setback for making progress in that area. But all is well and I know everything will be okay.

This month has been a month of a lot of reflection and searching for me. I wish I had all the answers sometimes or that I could see the end from the beginning. But no matter what, I will try to always remain hopeful and grateful and do my best.

Here are some pics . . .
I'm trying to take a few more pics of myself this pregnancy than I have so far. Some pics I look bigger than others. In this one, I'm not as big as I think I actually look. Occasionally I'll get a comment like the one I did a few weeks ago at choir, where someone said, "Are you gonna make it???" - referring to how big I was getting. I'm thinking, "I hope so!" What choice is there? : )


Mary likes to be the baby in the stomach sometimes. : ) She has done this with Jeff too.


She loves swimming so much. I try to take her every couple of weeks.


Snow has been a part of our lives this month for sure. Here is Mary wearing the snowman hat and scarf.


A friend of mine's boy - who is also Mary's age - stayed with us a few nights while she was in the hospital. Mary enjoyed having a playmate - mostly. Sharing was not her strength. But she did well enough. We enjoyed being able to help out a friend.


Sullins family get together- GrammE and our new baby boy cousin - who is the same age as our baby boy will be!

Our little family.

Sullins girl cousins!


On the docket of things to do while we were at the new Sullins home in Parker was for the men to put Ellen's dollhouse together. I love the size difference between Mary and Charles here.
Yes - that is how big Ellen's doll house is! Can you just imagine how fun it would be to be one of her granddaughters?


Lately whenever Mary encounters pretty characters with long flowing dresses, she says they are married. She has taken to saying this about herself whenever she has lots of pretty jewelry or in this case blankets draped on herself. Here she says, "I'm so married!!!!" SOOO Cute!!!

Seriously? I don't even know what to say about this except that she takes after her mother a bit. : )

Happy Leap Day everyone! Here's to looking forward to a new month, a new season, and new adventures.
Love,
Annie

My Valentine

If you know me at all, you should know that I LOVE Valentine's Day. It is probably my 2nd favorite holiday after Christmas. Course I love all the holidays. Holidays make life more fun and festive. I know some people hate Valentine's but I have a hard time relating. Yea, maybe you don't have a significant other or maybe they are lame and don't do anything to show their love for you. But still, what about all the other people who show love to you? And it is also a chance to show others that you love them. And of course, I love pink and red . . . and chocolate. : ) (Easter actually has the best candy of all the holidays IMHO but I could actually write a post about that and I will spare you that for today : )).

But speaking of chocolate . . . about the 2nd week in January I told Jeff that I wanted to have an early Valentine's box of chocolates. And he obliged! Because of his sweetness, I thought it might be fun to document so many of the nice things he does for me on a regular basis and share them here.


Jeff consistently tries to make me happy by giving in to many of my unnecessary wants.

The first pic - which would have been here - was supposed to be a pic of the chocolates, but alas, I ate them all before I got my act together to take a pic. : ) But just imagine a beautiful array of chocolates and their luscious smell.

Jeff helps with several chores I just don't like doing:
Deboning chicken!


Shoveling the driveway!


Jeff is - and always has been - a huge help with Mary. He is a wonderful father!



Jeff takes care of me when I'm sick. This is a lovely picture of me last week after getting probably the worst case of food poisoning I've ever had. Last week wasn't a good week all around I tell ya.


He regularly goes to social events that he would gladly skip just to make me happy.



These are some of the main things, but of course, not all of them. I feel blessed to be married to such a devoted husband and father. Jeff, you are my Valentine!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Thanks for all your love!

Scrapbook done. Doula hired.

I'm pleased because I have recently finished two big projects that needed getting done.

The first one was that I finally finished an engagement scrapbook that I made for my friend, Annabel. Her mom asked me if I would make one for her and I thought it would be a wonderful thing that she could always treasure. I spent many, MANY hours on it and I feel like I did my best. There are some amazing scrapbookers in this world - and I am not one of them unfortunately. But I'm decent and it almost doesn't matter. Because what matters most is capturing the memories. So here is a picture of the album cover(I won't include pics of each page). The entire album was based on these colors. I found an awesome line at Archiver's that just screamed Annabel (Teresa Collins Posh line) and it streamlined the process.



The other project that I wanted to figure out/do was hire a doula for my upcoming birth. I wanted to share a few thoughts about that here briefly.

I can't really share all the details here or reasons for why I am doing this, but I have wanted to -for a long time- have this next baby without drugs (if I can). By choosing this, I hope others don't feel that I am judging them if they don't choose this route. It really is true that each woman is different and cares about different things and so I know that natural childbirth is not for everyone. But for me, it is really something that has always been in my head and I think if you have that desire, it doesn't go away until you get to experience it.

Here are the main reasons why I'm choosing this method:
Incidentally, I chose to hire a doula because hiring a midwife is similar to having a doctor. A midwife can do medical things such as check the cervix, check the heart rate, etc. Since I have a doctor I feel like more what I need is someone who can just help me through labor and prepare for it. I didn't feel like I could do it with just Jeff and me. I felt like I needed someone with a lot of experience and someone who understood me and would be with me through the entire labor.

1. I believe that natural childbirth is the healthiest and safest way to bring a baby into the world (generally). This is widely known and accepted and proven even by the medical community (though not really encouraged, sadly).

2. I will have more control over what happens to my body in the hospital if I don't start having interventions (enducing, pitocin, epidurals, etc.) to begin with.

3. I feel a strong desire to experience what it actually feels like to have a baby. I feel it could be an amazing learning experience. I also feel completely terrified! I HATE pain and discomfort. I'm kind of a princess. And I live my life in such a way to avoid health problems if at all possible. That is why pregnancy is hard for me I think. But I do feel I have something to learn from this.

People always use the word "empowered". Maybe that is it. My sister Jennifer has said that when she had to take care of one of her children that died before turning one, that it taught her a lot about herself and boosted her self esteem because SHE was the one who took care of him. So maybe this will be something like that for me.

4. I feel a desire to experience what women throughout the ages - including my pioneer ancestors - experienced. I keep having the thought that if I ever go back to acting (or even anything artistic) that this experience will be a huge resource for me. When I tell women of my mother's generation that I want to do this, I usually get a "you're crazy" kind of look followed by an admission that, "yes, I'm glad I had the experience". My own mother had 5 natural births and 1 epidural. She has said before she'd rather have had 1 natural and 5 epidurals. But she does always say that she is glad she got to know what it is like to go naturally.

So that is basically it! Jeff is supportive but also thinks I am a little crazy I think. He has said that some women are more apt for this sort of thing than I am - which is probably true. But he is supportive and I'm grateful for that.

I am fairly determined to go this route, but as we all know, labor doesn't always go as planned. If the baby is turned funny or something I might change my mind. But I really hope that this will be a wonderful experience for us and planning for it to be so. I invoke your prayers and good thoughts now so that I will continue to have a healthy pregnancy and a wonderful childbirth.

If you'd like more details, I'm pretty much an open book. You can feel free to ask me anything.

Also, if you're interested in seeing my doula's (Heather is her name) website, I will also include that here. http://www.birthangel.net/

Mary Goings On

Here are some pics over the last month or so of Mary and what she has been doing.

Mary has loved the snow. Even when it is nice out, she'll try to go play in it - laying on top of it with no coat on. We've had some nice days in January. So much so that Mary and I have had three picnics in our front yard. Neighbor and friend Angie often comes to join us with her little ones.


Mary really loves her sunglasses these days


Still loves to read and loves story time at the library. She has favorite books and asks me to read them over and over again. Her current favorites are Ruby Valentine and the McDuff books.
This was the cutest. She took her little book and placed it where the music goes on the piano. She opened it up to the first page, started playing, then said, "No. Not that one." Then turned the page to find another song. Repeating over and over again, "No. Not that one."




Mary enjoying her new chairs (and table) she got for Christmas from GrammE and Papa


And even more fun is the box they came in (well not the exact same box). : )


Mary loves her accessories (hats, shoes, etc) and she has discovered putting her hands in her pockets.


We forgot to set out one of Mary's presents on Christmas morning. (We only got her four small gifts. You wouldn't think it would be too hard to remember.) Anyway, she has really enjoyed this hammering toy since we gave it to her. And yes, Mary does spend a lot of time half dressed. We have to watch her in public. She'll start removing her clothes - and has done so - anywhere(nursery, Gymboree, etc).


Mary snuggling on Momma's belly. Don't I look big for being due in May???? Gained 20 pounds so far baby!

Happy 2012!

Hi Everyone! Happy 2012! I realize you may think I'm a bit late - but I don't think I am. ; )Even though it is already the 16th, I've been busy planning and organizing the whole time.

So much has already happened in these 16 days. I have a new nephew (Jeff's side) and we found out we're having a boy!

A little about that . . .

In my mind, I really felt I'd be happy with a boy or girl. But I really pictured a boy and was going to have to do some mind gymnastics if it was a girl. I realized about the day before and morning of how scared I was. And it didn't really have anything to do with the sex of the baby. I just realized that parenthood is such a leap of faith. Anything can happen and who knows who will come out of your body!??! Maybe they will be collicky. Maybe they will struggle with mental illness. Maybe they will be completely brilliant and you won't know how to handle that. Maybe they will have physical handicaps or maybe they won't even make it past labor. Maybe they will be easy. Maybe they will be ugly. Maybe they will get along with their sibling. Maybe they'll fight. Maybe you'll die. Maybe Maybe MAYBE!!!!

As I was tearing up in the shower the morning of, I had to remind myself, that things will happen as God wants them to. And that will be as it should be. And that God will not give me anything I can't handle. And mostly to have FAITH - NOT FEAR.

Fears aside, I do believe that this baby will be a blessing to our family and that I WILL be able to handle a boy and that Mary and Jeff will love him immediately as I believe I will.

I was honestly, quite suprised overall with Mary - at how easy it all was for me. I think in my mind, I had pictured parenthood to be much harder.

But back to the morning of . . . I was thinking in my mind, "What if I'm disappointed? What do I say so I don't sound disappointed?" And then I thought of different things I might say.

(Um . . .I'm all of a sudden getting a feeling that I sound completely mental. I hope I'm not and that I'm not alone in my insecurities.)

But anyway, when we were all there getting the ultrasound, in the moment Dr. Oster said it was a boy, my honest reaction was "YAY!!!". And I was relieved that I was genuinely happy about it and I didn't even have to wonder what to say.

Mary and Jeff waiting at the doctor's office.



I know. I AM mental. Just go with it.

So back to the present. I have much to do in this year ahead and life ahead. I have made my 2012 goals, but I will probably refine them a bit.

Last year, I made 71 goals. I accomplished 19 and made progress on 24. Over the year, I omitted 3 and added 4. I am happy with that. For me, it is just about making progress. And some things I don't know if I could ever truly accomplish or be perfect at. Like, for example, being more grateful, or not losing my temper, or forgiving, or being on time. These are things that I did make progress on, but I know I can still improve on.

I am now looking forward to my upcoming immediate goals - finishing a long overdue scrapbook and planning for this baby.

Happy 2012 everyone!

Merry Little Christmas

We had a pretty low key, nice Christmas. It was a Sullins year, so we spent the day with Charles and Ellen. We were originally also planning on spending dinner with Jeff's brother's family, but they got sick and so we had to go to plan B. We had a leisurely morning opening presents and having brunch (I was happy with my breakfast casserole which was a new recipe), and then Jeff, and Mary, and I went to church while Ellen cooked dinner. Then we came home and rested, and had a nice Christmas dinner.

It was sure nice of Ellen to take over all the cooking so I could rest. Isn't it? I have the best in-laws!

I managed to blow the only part of the dinner that I was in charge of - dessert! For some dumb reason, I didn't think I needed to refridgerate the French Silk Pie and so when I went to cut it, it was very soupy. We decided we better not eat it and risk getting sick. I have NO idea what I was thinking! I'm just going to attribute this mistake to "pregnancy brain" and leave it at that. Fortunately, we had some cookie dough from my neighbor, Angie, that we baked right up and had with ice cream. So that was good.

Here are a few pics:
Mary enjoying her new stroller


GrammE helping Mary open her new squeaker shoes that she got her. Mary loved them immediately so much that she totally undressed right there on the spot to try them on. We heard squeaking the entire rest of the day! I didn't mind it at all. It made me happy.


Charles and Ellen opening the photo tray I made for them with photos of Mary from the latest photo shoot. Too bad I didn't get a pic of the actual tray. Oh well.

Mary with her new stuffed doggie (and GrammE's hat for her dolly - Ellen collects dolls). When we were at IKEA, Mary took to it right away. Jeff wondered about getting it for her, but I kind of discouraged him. But he went back and got it because he knew she'd really love it. Isn't that sweet?


Jeff got his parents Harry Potter scarves.



Christmas contentment. Mary snuggling her new doggie, wearing her new shoes, and surrounded by toys- complete with chocolate smear on face. Does it get better than that when you're a kid?



Can't wait to hear about all of your Christmases too!

Our Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve, we had our annual(or is it biannual?) Murray Christmas Talent Show. We all get together, have soup in a bread bowl and then those who want to can perform a talent.

This year, we met at Catherine and Aaron's home. It was nice to see where they live. We also had Catherine's and my in-laws with us too. So it was a nice big party. Mary was ecstatic the whole night. First she couldn't ever really get over Aaron's dog, Blue. She kept bending down to the dog and yelling, "HI!!! How ARE you???!!!" The dog was just totally patient with her. Then she and her cousin Sheri Anna had tons of fun too. She was so happy, she couldn't have cared less that I forgot to bring her food for dinner. Luckily, Catherine hooked us up with some yogurt.

Here are a few pics.

Aaron juggling for us.


One of my favorite renditions of the night, was Catherine playing Bartok's (?) 4th Invention.


I sang a piece called, The Lamb. I struggled a bit because I was having an allergic and asthmatic reaction to something in their house. I normally don't have asthma, but I do sometimes with allergies or colds.


My nephew Joe watching me sing. : ) He's getting so big. He is starting to go down that wonderfully awkward path of adolescence complete with glasses and braces. Yet, he is still a good looking kid I think. We should all be so lucky.


A really cute pic of Jennifer and Emma.


Hannah's stunning new look!


A really cute pic of Charles and Ellen.


The Robinsons


The Smiths


The Williams


The Sullins


The Murrays (well except of course the ones that were in the other pics: )).